The Holy Republic of North Bratislava is a titanic, efficient nation, ruled by Old Saxophone Joe with a fair hand, and remarkable for its daily referendums, complete lack of prisons, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful, devout population of 21.072 billion North Bratislavans love a good election, and the government gives them plenty of them. Universities tend to be full of students debating the merits of various civil and political rights, while businesses are tightly regulated and the wealthy viewed with suspicion.

The large government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Dinkytown. The average income tax rate is 98.9%.

The frighteningly efficient North Bratislavan economy, worth a remarkable 4,505 trillion pounds a year, is highly specialized and led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Book Publishing and Information Technology. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 213,824 pounds, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

There have been sightings of people walking around dressed in nothing but leopard-skin g-strings for 'religious reasons', schoolchildren on field trips are asked what torture means to them, unpopular scientists are shunned by name, and ride-sharing often involves some passengers sitting on the roof rack. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. North Bratislava's national animal is the bison, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Bratislavan Orthodoxy.

North Bratislava is ranked 310,735^th in the world and 4,707^th in The North Pacific for Largest Gambling Industry, scoring -35.3 on the Kelly Criterion Productivity Index.