The Europine Federation of Bagojo is a titanic, orderly nation, ruled by The Europine President with an iron fist, and remarkable for its keen interest in outer space, avant-garde cinema, and frequent executions. The compassionate, cynical, humorless, devout population of 13.719 billion Europines are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The medium-sized, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Industry, and Defense. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Brussels. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 92.3%.

The frighteningly efficient Europine economy, worth a remarkable 3,834 trillion Euros a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched black market in Arms Manufacturing, Furniture Restoration, Information Technology, and Basket Weaving. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 279,513 Euros, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 1,040,786 per year while the poor average 52,688, a ratio of 19.8 to 1.

Tech-mad citizens think that the laser-powered bread-slicer uPhone App is the coolest thing since sliced bread, the combined alert sound of a nation simultaneously receiving a text message is a common cause of hearing damage, anyone with an emergency on a holy day is advised to pray harder, and radio stations are forbidden to play anything with too much drum or bass. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Bagojo's national animal is the any eagle, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Agnostical Theism.

Bagojo is ranked 308,914^th in the world and 4,545^th in The North Pacific for Most Cultured, scoring -120 on the Snufflebottom-Wiggendum Pentatonic Scale.