The United Provinces of Aeolist is a titanic, genial nation, ruled by President Thomas Guerra with an even hand, and remarkable for its pith helmet sales, ubiquitous missile silos, and punitive income tax rates. The compassionate, hard-working, devout population of 22.691 billion Aeolistites have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The medium-sized, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Education, Industry, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Telic. The average income tax rate is 64.9%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Aeolistite economy, worth a remarkable 4,308 trillion Mernas a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Book Publishing, and Arms Manufacturing. Average income is an impressive 189,865 Mernas, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Odysseying merchant sailors swear that they've heard sirens in the western seas, newspaper stories fill several pages with colorful adjectives, the government is proudly free of crabs, and endangered bison are herded across the border to prevent them from trampling on native prairie grass. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Aeolist's national animal is the Aeolistite Hawk, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Cristoan.

Aeolist is ranked 47,429^th in the world and 927^th in The North Pacific for Highest Foreign Aid Spending, scoring 702.23 on the Clooney Contribution Index.