The Kingdom of PlanetMercury is a titanic, efficient nation, ruled by Freddie Mercury with an iron fist, and remarkable for its ritual sacrifices, compulsory military service, and disturbing lack of elderly people. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 14.11 billion PlanetMercuries are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The relatively small, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Law & Order, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Kensington. The average income tax rate is 36.0%.

The frighteningly efficient PlanetMercuryian economy, worth a remarkable 5,069 trillion pounds a year, is led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Woodchip Exports, and Uranium Mining. Black market activity is rampant. Average income is an amazing 359,274 pounds, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.1 times as much as the poorest.

Arbitration is mightier than the sword, terrorists are on a first name basis with the officials that stamp their passports, daredevil kayakers frequently race against runaway hippos, and organ donation is compulsory. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. PlanetMercury's national animal is the Cat, which can occasionally be seen sifting through garbage in the nation's cities.

PlanetMercury is ranked 2,822^nd in the world and 101^st in The North Pacific for Highest Poor Incomes, with 195,227.68 Standard Monetary Units.