The Chilly Place of Neutral Federation of the Mountains is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by the Federal Council with an iron fist, and notable for its museums and concert halls, infamous sell-swords, and sprawling nuclear power plants. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical population of 1.286 billion Mountaineers are rabid consumers, partly through choice and partly because the government tells them to and dissenters tend to vanish from their homes at night.

The medium-sized, corrupt, pro-business, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Education, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Mozzarella City. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 39.9%.

The frighteningly efficient Mountainsian economy, worth 182 trillion Rockmarks a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Arms Manufacturing, and Uranium Mining. Black market activity is frequent. Average income is an impressive 141,660 Rockmarks, but there is an enormous disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 750,955 per year while the poor average 14,142, a ratio of 53.1 to 1.

Spies caught red-handed are served cocktails on their first-class flights home, economists confusingly list "fusarium rot and leaf blight" as major risk factors for monetary deflation, online terrorists are automatically assigned adverts for cheap balaclavas, and cheese has become the new icon of political dissent. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Neutral Federation of the Mountains's national animal is the dove, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Kitkatism.

Neutral Federation of the Mountains is ranked 80,015^th in the world and 2,288^th in The North Pacific for Lowest Crime Rates, with 68.67 law-abiding acts per hour.