The Free Land of Pytong is a mammoth, efficient nation, ruled by Kamil Iwo with a fair hand, and notable for its ritual sacrifices, soft-spoken computers, and national health service. The compassionate, democratic population of 5.768 billion Pytongians love a good election, and the government gives them plenty of them. Universities tend to be full of students debating the merits of various civil and political rights, while businesses are tightly regulated and the wealthy viewed with suspicion.

The large, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Education, Industry, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Kamilowo. The average income tax rate is 93.8%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Pytongian economy, worth a remarkable 1,058 trillion kapustas a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is fairly diversified, is led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Book Publishing, and Arms Manufacturing. Average income is an impressive 183,517 kapustas, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The Party has more splits than a yo-yo dieter's trousers, produce labels read 'may contain traces of food', ice-filled coffins are ominously positioned in the corner of every hospital ward, and the government regularly hires contractors to construct high rise apartments. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Pytong's national animal is the python 𓆙, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Pytongism.

Pytong is ranked 7,538^th in the world and 214^th in The North Pacific for Highest Foreign Aid Spending, scoring 1,968.29 on the Clooney Contribution Index.