The Volcanic Islands of Nistriabar is a massive, cultured nation, ruled by The Prime Alderman with a fair hand, and renowned for its ubiquitous missile silos, smutty television, and pith helmet sales. The compassionate, democratic population of 2.639 billion Nistrians enjoy a sensible mix of personal and economic freedoms, while the political process is open and the people's right to vote held sacrosanct.

The medium-sized, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Defense. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Mako. The average income tax rate is 78.7%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Nistriabarian economy, worth 460 trillion Nistis a year, is dominated by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Arms Manufacturing, and Book Publishing. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 174,452 Nistis, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Young girls and senior citizens alike can be spotted wearing colourful short shorts, no one believes anything until it has been strenuously tested and peer-reviewed, the poor are forced into bankruptcy by their energy bills, and builders across Nistriabar are blocked up with orders for new public loos. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Nistriabar's national animal is the White Shark, which frolics freely in the nation's sparkling oceans, and its national religion is State Atheism.

Nistriabar is ranked 232,861^st in the world and 9,251^st in The North Pacific for Fattest Citizens, with 5.26 Obesity Rate.