The Kingdom of Merconitonitopia is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by Mansebat II with an iron fist, and notable for its prohibition of alcohol, avant-garde cinema, and strictly enforced bedtime. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 28.563 billion Onitonites are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The enormous, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government is primarily concerned with Defense, although Spirituality, Environment, and Law & Order are also considered important. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Bahmedag. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Onitonite economy, worth an astonishing 16,850 trillion virtues a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, highly specialized black market in Arms Manufacturing and Basket Weaving. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is a breathtaking 589,956 virtues, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Wrongful arrests abound as 'criminals' blame the guy next to them, a law degree is required before telling people not to drink and drive, caps with skulls on them are the height of fashion, and the Museum of Soybeans is the cultural heart of the nation. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Merconitonitopia's national animal is the dove, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Christianity.

Merconitonitopia is ranked 331,678^th in the world and 4,783^rd in The North Pacific for Largest Pizza Delivery Sector, scoring -71.42 on the Pepperoni Propulsion Productivity Index.