The Free State of Lovarpia is a mammoth, socially progressive nation, ruled by Prime Minister Nigel Sewell with a fair hand, and notable for its museums and concert halls, complete lack of prisons, and irreverence towards religion. The compassionate, democratic population of 8.968 billion Lovarpians are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The large, corrupt, socially-minded government prioritizes Industry, with Education, Defense, and Administration also on the agenda, while Spirituality and International Aid receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Vitechilecy. The average income tax rate is 91.6%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Lovarpian economy, worth a remarkable 1,448 trillion pounds a year, is quite specialized and led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Arms Manufacturing, and Book Publishing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 161,513 pounds, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

All guns must be registered, the phrase 'spreading like wildfire' is no longer in the public lexicon, religion is strictly forbidden within school grounds, and the army lives rent-free in foreigners' heads and houses. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Lovarpia's national animal is the albatross, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Barbatosism.

Lovarpia is ranked 294,203^rd in the world and 4,356^th in The North Pacific for Largest Pizza Delivery Sector, scoring -14.78 on the Pepperoni Propulsion Productivity Index.