The Republic of Ascentida is a colossal, cultured nation, ruled by Kriscen M Deivis with an iron fist, and remarkable for its pith helmet sales, keen interest in outer space, and public floggings. The hard-nosed, cynical, devout population of 3.082 billion Ascendians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The medium-sized, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Law & Order, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Andersonia. The average income tax rate is 37.2%.

The frighteningly efficient Ascentidan economy, worth 424 trillion onars a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Retail, Book Publishing, and Beef-Based Agriculture. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 137,676 onars, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.8 times as much as the poorest.

The inchworm that measured the marigolds is six feet under, exports are stamped with "made by the invisible hand you commies", people seem disproportionately distraught when told a museum has a phones-off policy, and the government has implemented minimum wage laws. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Ascentida's national animal is the Ascendian brown bear, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Christianity.

Ascentida is ranked 59,810^th in the world and 1,087^th in The North Pacific for Largest Information Technology Sector, scoring 9,132.63 on the Fann-Boi Productivity Index.