The KickAss Corrections Officers of SORT is a titanic, environmentally stunning nation, renowned for its closed borders, suspicion of poets, and devotion to social welfare. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 24.762 billion SORTans are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The enormous, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, although Law & Order, Healthcare, and Education are also considered important, while International Aid is ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Florence. The average income tax rate is 95.0%.

The frighteningly efficient SORTan economy, worth a remarkable 2,753 trillion dollars a year, is highly specialized and mostly made up of the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 111,204 dollars, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The might of the entire SORTan Navy is focused on fifty bemused spear-throwing islanders, organisations with 800 in their phone number are often raided by special forces, military equipment stores have a tendency to go up in flames, and colonies are told they'll get their sovereignty back when they finish supper. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. SORT's national animal is the eagle, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies.

SORT is ranked 319,537^th in the world and 4,535^th in The North Pacific for Nicest Citizens, with 0.43 average smiles per day.