The United Protectorate of Tepertopia is a titanic, cultured nation, ruled by Gerhard von Selingen with a fair hand, and remarkable for its anti-smoking policies, smutty television, and otherworldly petting zoo. The compassionate, hard-working, democratic, cheerful, devout population of 14.165 billion Tepertopians enjoy a sensible mix of personal and economic freedoms, while the political process is open and the people's right to vote held sacrosanct.

The relatively small, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Healthcare, and Welfare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Happelstein. The average income tax rate is 3.5%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Tepertopian economy, worth a remarkable 3,364 trillion Crowns a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Book Publishing, and Retail. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 237,543 Crowns, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.5 times as much as the poorest.

Foreign aid is a seedy business, the nation was recently voted as the most stylish in the South Pacific, the nation has an international reputation for compassion, and barbers who trim a few inches of hair bill the government for their labor. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Tepertopia's national animal is the Cat, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Cake Supremacy.

Tepertopia is ranked 210,046^th in the world and 2,681^st in the South Pacific for Most Corrupt Governments, with 2.4 kickbacks per hour.