The United Protectorate of Tepertopia is a titanic, cultured nation, ruled by Gerhard von Selingen with a fair hand, and renowned for its daily referendums, infamous sell-swords, and aversion to nipples. The compassionate, hard-working, democratic, cheerful, devout population of 14.745 billion Tepertopians enjoy a sensible mix of personal and economic freedoms, while the political process is open and the people's right to vote held sacrosanct.

The relatively small, outspoken government prioritizes Industry, although Welfare, Healthcare, and Law & Order are also considered important, while Administration and Social Policy receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Happelstein. The average income tax rate is 3.8%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Tepertopian economy, worth a remarkable 3,639 trillion Crowns a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Book Publishing, and Retail. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 246,795 Crowns, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Corporate recruiters have adopted 'at least it's not government work' as their new catchphrase, fake revenge can be served either cold or hot, scientists on maritime expeditions return with a healthy glow, and grade school teachers mark homework with red "CITATION NEEDED" stamps. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Tepertopia's national animal is the Cat, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Cake Supremacy.

Tepertopia is ranked 8,928^th in the world and 231^st in the South Pacific for Most Developed, scoring 91.41 on the Human Development Index.