The Aeonian Citadel of Darakin is a gargantuan, safe nation, ruled by Ashton Q Westchester III with an even hand, and renowned for its museums and concert halls, anti-smoking policies, and restrictive gun laws. The compassionate, devout population of 46.344 billion Darakini are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The relatively small government juggles the competing demands of Education, Law & Order, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Darakin Citadel. The average income tax rate is 9.8%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The large but stagnant Darakini economy, worth 218 trillion shmingels a year, is driven almost entirely by government activity, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector is mostly comprised of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, although the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is 4,710 shmingels, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Cassocked priests and choirboys believe that what happens behind closed doors stays behind closed doors, the government hopes austerity will lead to prosperity, Ashton Q Westchester III is frequently seen begging critics to stop insulting the government, and feeling like a winner comes at a price. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Darakin's national animal is the puma, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Darakin is ranked 294,837^th in the world and 3,915^th in the South Pacific for Highest Unexpected Death Rate, scoring 20.62 on the Bus Surprisal Index.