The Commonwealth of United States of Vietnam is a gargantuan, socially progressive nation, ruled by Hà Phi Hùng with a fair hand, and notable for its national health service, irreverence towards religion, and absence of drug laws. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful population of 13.496 billion Vietnamese are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The large, liberal, socially-minded, outspoken government prioritizes Education, although Environment, Industry, and Welfare are also considered important, while Spirituality isn't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Hanoi. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Vietnamese economy, worth a remarkable 4,982 trillion Vietnam Commonwealth Dong a year, is quite specialized and dominated by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing, Tourism, and Arms Manufacturing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 369,176 Vietnam Commonwealth Dong, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Hipster cyclists declare that "metal is dead", "Hà Phi Hùng got your tongue?" has become a popular idiom, even secular Vietnamese are shouting "Blessed are the cheesemakers!", and military training in United States of Vietnam emphasizes the tactical advantages of stabbing backs. Crime is totally unknown. United States of Vietnam's national animal is the Dragon, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies.

United States of Vietnam is ranked 275,937^th in the world and 11,941^st in the South Pacific for Fattest Citizens, with 1.01 Obesity Rate.