The United Kingdom of The Two Jerseys is a gargantuan, safe nation, ruled by HM King Louis with an iron fist, and remarkable for its frequent executions, unlimited-speed roads, and hatred of cheese. The hard-nosed, cynical, devout population of 30.775 billion Caesareans are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The enormous, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Princeton. The average income tax rate is 95.5%.

The frighteningly efficient Caesarean economy, worth a remarkable 4,558 trillion Caesarean Pounds a year, is highly specialized and mostly made up of the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing and Arms Manufacturing. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 148,111 Caesarean Pounds, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Genocide is seen as a topic best avoided in history lessons, citizens who plan overseas vacations are barred from running for political office, the government raises tariffs on a weekly basis, and the military has declared that 'a woman's place is in the mess hall'. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. The Two Jerseys's national animal is the Crocodile, which frolics freely in the nation's sparkling oceans, and its national religion is Roman Catholicism.

The Two Jerseys is ranked 3,853^rd in the world and 98^th in the South Pacific for Most Cultured, scoring 181 on the Snufflebottom-Wiggendum Pentatonic Scale.