The Grand Duchy of Bapaving is a mammoth, socially progressive nation, ruled by Tupou I with a fair hand, and remarkable for its complete lack of prisons, daily referendums, and conspicuous electricity pylons. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful population of 9.04 billion Bapavingians are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The large, liberal, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Vaihitahi. The average income tax rate is 98.2%.

The frighteningly efficient Bapavingian economy, worth a remarkable 1,937 trillion specks a year, is quite specialized and dominated by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Book Publishing, and Beef-Based Agriculture. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 214,369 specks, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Doctors spend more time writing sick notes than caring for the sick, the best way to be heard in politics is to speak softly and carry a big comedy prop, nephews and nieces of the monarch resort to begging from relatives in palace halls, and films are funded in accordance with the volume of tears shed when reading the screenplay. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Bapaving's national animal is the red-footed tortoise, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is the Christian Church of the East.

Bapaving is ranked 3,055^th in the world and 87^th in the South Pacific for Safest, scoring 136.67 on the Bubble-Rapp Safety Rating.