The Cayon Democratic Republic of Altnavia is a titanic, genial nation, ruled by UCL Seiteita Deril Gaelida with an even hand, and notable for its smutty television, multi-spousal wedding ceremonies, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful, devout population of 10.814 billion Altnavians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The large government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Healthcare, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of New South Naranja. The average income tax rate is 79.7%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Altnavian economy, worth a remarkable 1,349 trillion Nulcranis a year, is led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing, Tourism, and Cheese Exports. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 124,748 Nulcranis, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Chess players with pacemakers and cochlear implants are treated with suspicion, truancy is as easy as clicking a camera icon, bug burgers are extra crunchy, and picnickers are lucky if a few wasps are the only animals that trouble them. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Altnavia's national animal is the Avren Crane, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Naelitaism.

Altnavia is ranked 30,331^st in the world and 338^th in the South Pacific for Largest Cheese Export Sector, scoring 5,310.74 on the Mozzarella Productivity Index.