The リパブリック of Nowa Europa is a titanic, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Prezydent Grzegorz Brzęczyszczykiewicz with a fair hand, and renowned for its smutty television, absence of drug laws, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate, hard-working, democratic, cheerful population of 18.576 billion Nowa Europeans hold their civil and political rights very dear, although the wealthy and those in business tend to be viewed with suspicion.

The relatively small, liberal, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Education, Industry, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Silesia. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 48.8%.

The frighteningly efficient Nowa Europan economy, worth a remarkable 7,850 trillion banknotes a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Retail industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Information Technology, and Book Publishing. Average income is an amazing 422,597 banknotes, with the richest citizens earning 7.4 times as much as the poorest.

Crocodile roadkill is smeared across the asphalt of the new Formula One track, playing card suits are sold separately, universities spend millions cultivating ivy on their buildings, and juries deliberate more than magic 8-balls. Crime is totally unknown. Nowa Europa's national animal is the Water Bear, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Nowa Europa is ranked 306,373^rd in the world and 4,125^th in the South Pacific for Fattest Citizens, with 2.39 Obesity Rate.