The Please Don't Open That of Bleakfoot is a titanic, genial nation, ruled by Governor Laithwaite Canker with an even hand, and remarkable for its rum-swilling pirates, keen interest in outer space, and irreverence towards religion. The compassionate, cheerful population of 14.855 billion Bleakfeet enjoy extensive civil rights and enjoy a level of social equality free from the usual accompanying government corruption.

The enormous, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Education, Environment, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Winterharbour. The average income tax rate is 99.0%.

The frighteningly efficient Bleakfeese economy, worth a remarkable 2,716 trillion honks a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism and Book Publishing. Average income is an impressive 182,862 honks, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

People are offered free trials to go to trial, the needs of the living outweigh the needs of the dead, people have become comfortably numb, and government ministers sport new billboards that read 'Will Trade Votes for Private Members' Bill Support'. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Bleakfoot's national animal is the long pig, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Not opening things.

Bleakfoot is ranked 5,143^rd in the world and 133^rd in the South Pacific for Most Cultured, scoring 156 on the Snufflebottom-Wiggendum Pentatonic Scale.