The Second Gold Onion of Laus Val is a massive, genial nation, ruled by Generic Charles with a fair hand, and remarkable for its keen interest in outer space, compulsory military service, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, democratic population of 1.331 billion Laus Valians love a good election, and the government gives them plenty of them. Universities tend to be full of students debating the merits of various civil and political rights, while businesses are tightly regulated and the wealthy viewed with suspicion.

The medium-sized, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Welfare, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Alvor. The average income tax rate is 33.5%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The sizeable but underdeveloped Laus Valian economy, worth 45.5 trillion sumors a year, is led by the Trout Farming industry, with major contributions from Beef-Based Agriculture, Information Technology, and Uranium Mining. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 34,190 sumors, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The Alvor Pride Parade's head banner explains how unionizing is heteronormative, advertisements read like science journal articles complete with extensive references, burial ceremonies have become as routinised as tax forms, and no one believes anything until it has been strenuously tested and peer-reviewed. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Laus Val's national animal is the White Whale, which frolics freely in the nation's sparkling oceans, and its national religion is Onionism.

Laus Val is ranked 276,351^st in the world and 3,097^th in the South Pacific for Highest Disposable Incomes, with 22,736.96 Standard Monetary Units.