The Mafia State of The Filippinas is a colossal, genial nation, ruled by Caporegime Fili with an even hand, and notable for its museums and concert halls, otherworldly petting zoo, and triple-decker prams. The compassionate, hard-working population of 5.466 billion Filipinos enjoy extensive civil freedoms, particularly in social issues, while business tends to be more regulated.

The large government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Administration, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Mynila. The average income tax rate is 95.8%.

The frighteningly efficient Filipino economy, worth a remarkable 1,146 trillion Filipine Pisoes a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Book Publishing, and Arms Manufacturing. Average income is an amazing 209,837 Filipine Pisoes, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.9 times as much as the poorest.

On graduation day the hats thrown in the air fly high enough to stun passing pigeons, customer satisfaction with online delivery services is at an all time high, manufacturers of biodegradable plastics have to wait for months to show evidence of organic decomposition, and a favorite "life hack" for gap year backpackers is to pretend to be homeless for government handouts. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. The Filippinas's national animal is the Aguila, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Loving Everyone.

The Filippinas is ranked 234,481^st in the world and 74^th in The Bar on the corner of every region for Largest Pizza Delivery Sector, scoring -9.35 on the Pepperoni Propulsion Productivity Index.