The Commonwealth of Phanama is a gargantuan, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by President Bowleaf with a fair hand, and notable for its museums and concert halls, devotion to social welfare, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, democratic, devout population of 11.577 billion Phanamans are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The enormous, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Education, Healthcare, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Spiritus. The average income tax rate is 90.8%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Phanaman economy, worth a remarkable 1,319 trillion Phanaman Pesos a year, is highly specialized and led by the Book Publishing industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Basket Weaving, and Information Technology. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 113,938 Phanaman Pesos, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The main interest rates change daily based on the latest news story, citizens are strongly encouraged to breathe less so as to limit the carbon footprint, snap elections are called over every minor impasse, and weekly religious services often resemble campaign rallies. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Phanama's national animal is the Rabbit, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Phanama is ranked 232,070^th in the world and 4,241^st in the South Pacific for Most Primitive, scoring -110.86 on the Scary Big Number Scale.