The Grand Duchy of The Seven Provinces is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Spurdo Spärde with a fair hand, and renowned for its multi-spousal wedding ceremonies, sprawling nuclear power plants, and complete absence of social welfare. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic, cheerful, devout population of 30.711 billion Seven Provincians are either ruled by a sleek, efficient government or a conglomerate of multinational corporations; it's difficult to tell which.

The medium-sized, pro-business government prioritizes Education, with Environment, Industry, and Healthcare also on the agenda, while Spirituality and Law & Order are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Benishof. The average income tax rate is 60.1%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Seven Provincian economy, worth a remarkable 7,113 trillion colombian flakes a year, is quite specialized and led by the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Book Publishing, and Retail. Black market activity is rampant. Average income is an amazing 231,611 colombian flakes, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.4 times as much as the poorest.

"Darwin's Disease" is a growing cause of death, it is universally agreed that the first 31 issues are the only ones with humor and charm (The Seven Provinces has found 2 easter eggs), middle management darts to the playground after board meetings, and a light breeze is enough to make Spurdo Spärde fold. Crime, especially youth-related, is pervasive, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. The Seven Provinces's national animal is the pædobär, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Benism.

The Seven Provinces is ranked 6,903^rd in the world and 128^th in Europe for Highest Poor Incomes, with 145,701.26 Standard Monetary Units.