The Imperium of Agatep is a colossal, orderly nation, ruled by Francis Parker Jockey with an iron fist, and notable for its infamous sell-swords, compulsory military service, and public floggings. The hard-nosed, cynical population of 8.767 billion Agatepians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, although Administration, Education, and Industry are also considered important, while Spirituality isn't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Ciudad de Ricardo. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Agatepian economy, worth a remarkable 3,656 trillion Larcs a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is broadly diversified, is led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Book Publishing. Average income is an amazing 417,106 Larcs, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Terrified tympanists are finding themselves on the front lines armed only with kettledrums, political activists are routinely executed, the government has officially clarified that "wee on your hands to save time" does not count as proper hygiene, and at the edge of the final frontier space's biggest missile platform is about to unfold. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Agatep's national animal is the Camo Green Snake, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Fourth Theory.

Agatep is ranked 293,178^th in the world and 1,483^rd in Europe for Most Primitive, scoring -1270.4 on the Scary Big Number Scale.