The Republic of Etnon is a massive, genial nation, ruled by Peigi Åland with a fair hand, and renowned for its national health service, compulsory vegetarianism, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful population of 3.118 billion Etnonians love a good election, and the government gives them plenty of them. Universities tend to be full of students debating the merits of various civil and political rights, while businesses are tightly regulated and the wealthy viewed with suspicion.

It is difficult to tell where the omnipresent, outspoken government stops and the rest of society begins, but it juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Santana. The average income tax rate is 95.7%.

The frighteningly efficient Etnonian economy, worth 312 trillion Euros a year, is driven almost entirely by government activity. The industrial sector is mostly made up of the Information Technology industry. Average income is an impressive 100,095 Euros, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Sex education has become an intricate maze of stick figures and complex metaphors, new pests have been imported into Etnon, manufacturers of biodegradable plastics have to wait for months to show evidence of organic decomposition, and a few people seem to spend their whole time complaining. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Etnon's national animal is the Bear, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Etnon is ranked 12,343^rd in the world and 112^th in Europe for Most Subsidized Industry, scoring 8,930.49 on the Gilded Widget Scale.