The Kingdom of Kotkavia is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by Queen Kaljumele II with a fair hand, and notable for its multi-spousal wedding ceremonies, smutty television, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate, democratic population of 3.317 billion Kotkavs love a good election, and the government gives them plenty of them. Universities tend to be full of students debating the merits of various civil and political rights, while businesses are tightly regulated and the wealthy viewed with suspicion.

The large government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Education, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Valanjaa. The average income tax rate is 80.5%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Kotkavian economy, worth 473 trillion Euros a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Book Publishing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 142,630 Euros, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Politicians preface their speeches with a declaration that any resemblance to speeches given by individuals living or dead is purely coincidental, dozens of additional foreign policy specialists have been sent to the country's WA Mission, the police have reaffirmed their tough stance on drugs, and the nation's museums are real penny-pinchers. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Kotkavia's national animal is the Eagle, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Kotkavia is ranked 4,501^st in the world and 114^th in Europe for Most Compassionate Citizens, scoring 85.5 on the Kitten Softness Rating.