The Principality of Valvert is a very large, genial nation, notable for its museums and concert halls, smutty television, and irreverence towards religion. The compassionate, hard-working, democratic population of 258 million Valvertians live in a state of perpetual fear, as a complete breakdown of social order has led to the rise of order through biker gangs.

The relatively small, liberal, outspoken government prioritizes Education, although Administration, Welfare, and Defense are also considered important. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 16.7%.

The powerhouse Valvertian economy, worth 25.4 trillion lire a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Retail, Furniture Restoration, and Automobile Manufacturing. Average income is 98,391 lire, but there is a large disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 415,731 per year while the poor average 15,066, a ratio of 27.6 to 1.

The nation grinds to a halt for afternoon tea, armed war-criminals gain asylum if deemed 'fabulous' enough, mystics are claiming that a simultaneous rise in scepticism and education budgets is correlation rather than causation, and dissing one's former country is a prerequisite to apply for Valvertian citizenship. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Valvert's national animal is the red fox, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Valvert is ranked 27,815^th in the world and 410^th in Europe for Most Cultured, scoring 81 on the Snufflebottom-Wiggendum Pentatonic Scale.