The Most Serene Realm of Peoples of Celliwig is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by His Majesty's Blessed Regent with an iron fist, and notable for its parental licensing program, complete lack of prisons, and national health service. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 4.085 billion Nordasians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of New Agartha. The average income tax rate is 87.5%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Celliwigian economy, worth 991 trillion Rapats a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Tourism, and Beef-Based Agriculture. Black market activity is rampant. Average income is an amazing 242,610 Rapats, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.6 times as much as the poorest.

Chalkboards are replaced with billboards in the classroom, acknowledgement of minority groups is usually a Trojan horse, diplomats agree to the terms and conditions of peace treaties without reading them, and war memorials have been modified to include hammocks for napping. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Celliwig's national animal is the Golden Eagle, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Finalis Intellectus.

Celliwig is ranked 6,027^th in the world and 36^th in Europe for Most Corrupt Governments, with 224.18 kickbacks per hour.