The Most Serene Realm of Peoples of Celliwig is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by His Majesty's Blessed Regent with an iron fist, and notable for its parental licensing program, infamous sell-swords, and avowedly heterosexual populace. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 4.467 billion Nordasians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The medium-sized, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of New Agartha. The average income tax rate is 89.7%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Celliwigian economy, worth a remarkable 1,089 trillion Rapats a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Tourism, and Beef-Based Agriculture. Black market activity is rampant. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an amazing 243,792 Rapats, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The government is proudly free of crabs, art is not complete without a touch of alizarin blood and titanium sweat, even in the most hardened climate scientists break down at the sound of a single drop of rain, and the thrash metal version of the national anthem is topping charts. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Celliwig's national animal is the Golden Eagle, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Finalis Intellectus.

Celliwig is ranked 261,323^rd in the world and 582^nd in Europe for Fattest Citizens, with 7.02 Obesity Rate.