The Absolute Psychotic Republic of Jaslo is a mammoth, cultured nation, ruled by Noah Bettler with an iron fist, and notable for its complete lack of prisons, enslaved workforce, and prohibition of alcohol. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 7.586 billion Jasloans are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The large, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Industry, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Köln. The average income tax rate is 78.9%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Jasloan economy, worth 904 trillion German marks a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector is dominated by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Basket Weaving, and Cheese Exports. Average income is an impressive 119,249 German marks, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.6 times as much as the poorest.

In the mighty jungle the lion once again sleeps tonight, the military is slashing spending on conventional arms and diverting it to spending on prosthetic arms, sick Jasloans are hair today and gone tomorrow, and civil engineers are undermining sinkholes. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Jaslo's national animal is the Águila, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Atheism.

Jaslo is ranked 277,400^th in the world and 656^th in Europe for Largest Trout Fishing Sector, scoring -7.85 on the Nemo Depletion Efficiency Index.