The Kingdom of Quoph is a titanic, safe nation, ruled by Biscuiteen Trisket with an iron fist, and renowned for its complete lack of prisons, state-planned economy, and punitive income tax rates. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical population of 19.748 billion Quophites are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The enormous government juggles the competing demands of Healthcare, Education, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Biscuitburg. The average income tax rate is 80.3%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The all-consuming Quophish economy, worth a remarkable 1,404 trillion Chilis a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is mostly made up of the Book Publishing industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Tourism, and Pizza Delivery. Average income is 71,100 Chilis, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

A firework a day does not in fact keep the doctor away, the nation's generous tax credits have brought all the film studios to the yard, witnesses have to run a gauntlet of mob enforcers to testify at trials, and expectant parents view twins with equal parts joy and suspicion. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Quoph's national animal is the Kiwi, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Quoph is ranked 309,753^rd in the world and 4,361^st in The North Pacific for Most Compassionate Citizens, scoring 18.35 on the Kitten Softness Rating.