The Impossible Pantisocracy of Nuweland is a gargantuan, safe nation, ruled by Ignacio Quaresma with a fair hand, and notable for its compulsory vegetarianism, digital currency, and irreverence towards religion. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful population of 36.65 billion Nuwelanders love a good election, and the government gives them plenty of them. Universities tend to be full of students debating the merits of various civil and political rights, while businesses are tightly regulated and the wealthy viewed with suspicion.

The medium-sized, corrupt, outspoken government prioritizes Education, although Law & Order, Environment, and Social Policy are also considered important, while Defense and Welfare receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Hammersdorf-Vilamartel. The average income tax rate is 91.1%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Nuwelandian economy, worth a remarkable 7,280 trillion euros a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector is dominated by the Book Publishing industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Pizza Delivery, and Cheese Exports. Average income is an impressive 198,654 euros, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Evasive politicians don't fail to strongly commit to not committing to a course of non-inaction, toy versions of heroin paraphernalia let kids pretend to be their favourite TV characters, it's been a banner year for local vexillology, and politicians are fired for opening subjective statements with "I believe". Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Nuweland's national animal is the ring-tailed lemur, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is 'Christianity' à la neulandienne.

Nuweland is ranked 1,167^th in the world and 25^th in Europe for Smartest Citizens, with 219.84 quips per hour.