The Federal Republic of Turnips is a colossal, genial nation, ruled by Charles Turnip Townshend with an even hand, and remarkable for its smutty television, free-roaming dinosaurs, and irreverence towards religion. The compassionate population of 4.14 billion Turnips are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The large, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Welfare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Tumshire. The average income tax rate is 82.5%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Turnipain economy, worth 599 trillion Carrets a year, is quite specialized and led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Book Publishing, and Trout Farming. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 144,718 Carrets, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

It is not politically correct to suspect that a serially convicted burglar might steal again, government-run screening operations remove embryos with severe genetic disorders, life-saving resuscitation is denied based on decades-old teenage diaries that declare "I want to die before I get old", and the government is washing its hands of alleged corruption. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Turnips's national animal is the Rotabagge, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Turnips is ranked 5,459^th in the world and 231^st in The North Pacific for Safest, scoring 127.47 on the Bubble-Rapp Safety Rating.