The Grumpy Old Sage of Mediobogdum is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by Septimius Severus with an iron fist, and remarkable for its free-roaming dinosaurs, ritual sacrifices, and rampant corporate plagiarism. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 14.003 billion Mediobogdumians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The relatively small, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Education, Environment, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Gariannonum. The average income tax rate is 37.1%.

The frighteningly efficient Mediobogdumian economy, worth a remarkable 3,019 trillion Denaris a year, is led by the Pizza Delivery industry, with significant contributions from Soda Sales, Information Technology, and Tourism. Black market activity is rampant. Average income is an amazing 215,620 Denaris, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.6 times as much as the poorest.

The construction of massive skyscrapers seems to be the result of Mediobogdum's mid-life crisis, pharmacists increasingly claim they are morally obligated to take long lunches, the number of children one can have is restricted by law, and fast-food chefs regularly win Health Innovation Awards for spitting on burgers. Crime, especially youth-related, is all-pervasive, with the police force struggling against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. Mediobogdum's national animal is the Eagle, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Violetism.

Mediobogdum is ranked 2,869^th in the world and 70^th in the West Pacific for Rudest Citizens, with 176.55 Insults Per Minute.