The Armed Republic of Simard is a mid-sized, genial nation, remarkable for its compulsory military service, frequent executions, and restrictive gun laws. The compassionate, devout population of 88 million Simardians are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

The medium-sized, moralistic government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Administration, and Education. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 24.4%.

The Simardian economy, worth 5.45 trillion dollars a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Beef-Based Agriculture industry, with major contributions from Book Publishing, Arms Manufacturing, and Trout Farming. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 61,912 dollars, with the richest citizens earning 7.6 times as much as the poorest.

Kindergartners' favourite dance move is the stop-drop-and-roll, claims adjusters are uselessly vague, single celebrities have to repeatedly prove their chastity to avoid being married off to infatuated fans, and people say that cubists are rubbish because they can't draw faces. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Simard's national animal is the Lion, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Simard is ranked 96,007^th in the world and 692^nd in the West Pacific for Most Eco-Friendly Governments, scoring 971.91 on the Dolphin Recycling Awareness Index.