The Eigenstate of Profania is a colossal, genial nation, ruled by Aleck P Dante von Besser-Wizzer with a fair hand, and notable for its otherworldly petting zoo, sprawling nuclear power plants, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate, democratic population of 2.551 billion troglodytes are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The medium-sized, liberal, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Welfare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Hifelufelem. The average income tax rate is 26.3%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Profanian economy, worth 376 trillion luremus a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Retail. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 147,687 luremus, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Fishermen take out second mortgages to afford the yearly fishing permit, busy commuters no longer hear the cries of "I want some more!" on the nation's streets, citizens have voted the song "Aleck P Dante von Besser-Wizzer Smells Like A Scapegoat" as their new national anthem, and Aleck P Dante von Besser-Wizzer has killer fashion sense. Crime is totally unknown. Profania's national animal is the scapegoat, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Procrastinism.

Profania is ranked 21,520^th in the world and 261^st in the West Pacific for Highest Foreign Aid Spending, scoring 1,144.77 on the Clooney Contribution Index.