The Combined Corporations of Win Mints is a titanic, socially progressive nation, ruled by Almighty Dollar with a fair hand, and notable for its rum-swilling pirates, infamous sell-swords, and ritual sacrifices. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic, humorless population of 20.311 billion Minties live in a state of perpetual fear, as a complete breakdown of social order has led to the rise of order through biker gangs.

There is no government in the normal sense of the word; however, a small group of community-minded, corrupt, liberal, pro-business, outspoken individuals juggles the competing demands of Industry, Defense, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Choco-Mintia. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Mintian economy, worth a remarkable 7,428 trillion cookies a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Retail industry, with significant contributions from Soda Sales, Gambling, and Information Technology. Average income is an amazing 365,729 cookies, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.0 times as much as the poorest.

The latest "must-have" uPhone is 1/4 mm thinner than last year's uPhone, daredevil kayakers frequently race against runaway hippos, sex-ed is child's play, and inter-species marriages are ignored by the government. Crime, especially youth-related, is so common that it is unusual to encounter someone following the law, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Win Mints's national animal is the sourdough starter, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Consumerism.

Win Mints is ranked 2,540^th in the world and 24^th in the West Pacific for Most Corrupt Governments, with 384.28 kickbacks per hour.