The Kingdom of Yardies is a mammoth, orderly nation, ruled by Andy Ganteks with an iron fist, and notable for its rum-swilling pirates, avowedly heterosexual populace, and absence of drug laws. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical population of 7.826 billion Yardies are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The medium-sized, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Defense, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Liberty City. The average income tax rate is 79.9%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Yard economy, worth a remarkable 2,033 trillion Mobs a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Retail, and Book Publishing. Black market activity is rampant. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an amazing 259,843 Mobs, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.7 times as much as the poorest.

If a tree falls in the forest there is no sound except a cash register ringing, mantis shrimp studies is academia's fastest-growing field, bowling teams spend more time looking at their phones than the pins, and the nation has always been at war with Bigtopia. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Yardies's national animal is the Lion, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Monke.

Yardies is ranked 310,024^th in the world and 2,414^th in the West Pacific for Highest Unexpected Death Rate, scoring 22.25 on the Bus Surprisal Index.