The United Socialist States of Outer Scotiotland is a titanic, orderly nation, ruled by Supreme Leader Hynds with an iron fist, and renowned for its vat-grown people, zero percent divorce rate, and avowedly heterosexual populace. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 10.812 billion Outer Scotiotlandians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Outer Scotiotland City. The average income tax rate is 95.2%.

The frighteningly efficient Outer Scotiotlandian economy, worth a remarkable 3,241 trillion Scottish Pounds a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, broadly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Uranium Mining, and Woodchip Exports. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 299,813 Scottish Pounds, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.1 times as much as the poorest.

Record sales of 'child-whacking sticks' have been reported, neighbourhood gossips whip up controversy about those receiving adult merchandise, citizens try to pass off bottlecaps they found in their backyards as historical artifacts, and sneezing pedestrians are grabbed by alley-lurking doctors. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Outer Scotiotland's national animal is the Unicorn, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Hyndsism.

Outer Scotiotland is ranked 293,722^nd in the world and 2,417^th in the West Pacific for Most Eco-Friendly Governments, scoring -5.48 on the Dolphin Recycling Awareness Index.