The Socialist Pirate Republic of Schillikia is a gargantuan, safe nation, ruled by Capitana Nataliya Schillikskaya with a fair hand, and notable for its ubiquitous missile silos, complete lack of prisons, and irreverence towards religion. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful population of 26.112 billion Schillikañes hold their civil and political rights very dear, although the wealthy and those in business tend to be viewed with suspicion.

The enormous, liberal government prioritizes Education, with Administration, Environment, and Defense also on the agenda, while Spirituality receives no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Porta Schillikskova. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Schillikian economy, worth a remarkable 9,848 trillion Schilliks a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is quite specialized, is mostly made up of the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Arms Manufacturing, and Book Publishing. Average income is an amazing 377,145 Schilliks, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Red Cross demand for body bags is rising while sutures go unused, scientists are researching the best way to kill off humanity to prevent catastrophic war, every workday begins with group therapy, and unpopular cops are fired at a moment's notice by the citizens they police. Crime is totally unknown. Schillikia's national animal is the Cat, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Piracy.

Schillikia is ranked 346^th in the world and 2^nd in The Leftist Assembly for Smartest Citizens, with 376.62 quips per hour.