The Federal Republic of Karelianastan is a gargantuan, genial nation, ruled by Simon Archidamus with an even hand, and renowned for its museums and concert halls, aversion to nipples, and smutty television. The compassionate population of 12.75 billion Karelianastanians enjoy extensive civil rights and enjoy a level of social equality free from the usual accompanying government corruption.

The enormous, liberal, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Education, Healthcare, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Kingsburg. The average income tax rate is 91.7%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Karelianastanian economy, worth a remarkable 1,551 trillion Karelianastanian Dollars a year, is highly specialized and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Book Publishing, and Basket Weaving. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 121,655 Karelianastanian Dollars, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The internal market is thriving, mandatory neutering has made purebred dogs a thing of the past, fraternities are notorious for drunken hooliganism, and lovesick people are told 'it's not them, it's you'. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Karelianastan's national animal is the Grey Heron, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Agnosticism.

Karelianastan is ranked 11,329^th in the world and 225^th in The Communist Bloc for Lowest Crime Rates, with 98.83 law-abiding acts per hour.