The United Provinces of Grainstan is a mammoth, efficient nation, ruled by Simeon Yoder with an even hand, and renowned for its parental licensing program, irreverence towards religion, and absence of drug laws. The compassionate population of 7.385 billion Grainstanians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The enormous government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Education, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Salah. The average income tax rate is 97.7%.

The frighteningly efficient Grainstanian economy, worth a remarkable 1,285 trillion Convertible Mark of One Thousand Mills a year, is quite specialized and led by the Book Publishing industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Arms Manufacturing, and Beef-Based Agriculture. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 174,047 Convertible Mark of One Thousand Mills, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The country's motorways are surprisingly quiet, the government loves seeing the little people fight, attendance of fathers at PTA meetings is at an all-time high, and psychiatrists bizarrely accompany Simeon Yoder to meetings with foreign heads of state. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Grainstan's national animal is the Kakapo, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

Grainstan is ranked 278,444^th in the world and 1,864^th in the South Pacific for Largest Black Market, with 73.0 billion Standard Monetary Units.