The United Provinces of Grainstan is a mammoth, genial nation, ruled by Simeon Yoder with an even hand, and renowned for its state-planned economy, anti-smoking policies, and punitive income tax rates. The compassionate population of 6.953 billion Grainstanians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The enormous, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Education, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Salah. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Grainstanian economy, worth a remarkable 1,462 trillion Convertible Mark of One Thousand Mills a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is quite specialized, is led by the Book Publishing industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Arms Manufacturing, and Beef-Based Agriculture. Average income is an amazing 210,352 Convertible Mark of One Thousand Mills, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

A suspicious number of male students have joined the Ladies' Wrestling League, Scoutmasters debate whether luxury log cabins defeat the purpose of camping, the nation's once beautiful countryside has turned brown as farmers spray potent pesticides, and all statues and paintings of dogs are being destroyed to avoid offending cat-lovers. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Grainstan's national animal is the Kakapo, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

Grainstan is ranked 306,180^th in the world and 4,210^th in the South Pacific for Lowest Overall Tax Burden, scoring -1205.81 on the Hayek Index.