The Holy Roman Varangian Empire of Blandowia is a titanic, efficient nation, ruled by Emperor Thrággheímm Skjýörhållssøn II with an iron fist, and renowned for its barren, inhospitable landscape, keen interest in outer space, and smutty television. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 11.512 billion Varangians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, with Law & Order, Education, and Industry also on the agenda, while Environment and International Aid receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Skálðrfjøŕð. The average income tax rate is 98.7%.

The frighteningly efficient Varangian economy, worth a remarkable 6,086 trillion Skjölls a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, broadly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Uranium Mining, and Beef-Based Agriculture. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is a breathtaking 528,713 Skjölls, but there is a large disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 2,337,286 per year while the poor average 74,820, a ratio of 31.2 to 1.

Diplomacy falls apart when diplomats drink too much, many Varangians are their brothers' keepers, drill sergeants yell in the ears of bespectacled nerds in cybermilitary "reboot camps", and the local custom of Biking With The Cars sends tourists home bemused or in body-bags. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Blandowia's national animal is the Black-Hide Woolly Mammoth, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Orthodox Christianity.

Blandowia is ranked 21,885^th in the world and 23^rd in Christians for Largest Gambling Industry, scoring 6,846.83 on the Kelly Criterion Productivity Index.