The Holy Black Sea Empire of Schardonia is a mammoth, orderly nation, ruled by Cecylia Rzeczkowcka with an iron fist, and remarkable for its strictly enforced bedtime, keen interest in outer space, and irreverence towards religion. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 5.724 billion Schardonians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic government is effectively ruled by the Department of Defense, although Industry, Education, and Administration are also considered important, while International Aid and Environment are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Menara. The average income tax rate is 82.6%.

The frighteningly efficient Schardonian economy, worth a remarkable 1,706 trillion Ingots a year, is broadly diversified and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, and Uranium Mining. Average income is an amazing 298,050 Ingots, with the richest citizens earning 5.0 times as much as the poorest.

Dàguó is simultaneously dead and alive, birdsong in the mountains has to be loud enough to drown out nearby jackhammers, toddlers are wielding machine guns in the name of national defense, and newly-peaceful nations are forced to use assault rifles as farming tools due to a lack of funds for purchasing anything else. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, despite the fact that it is difficult to make it through a day without breaking one of the country's many laws. Schardonia's national animal is the Armadillo, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Roman Catholicism.

Schardonia is ranked 325,367^th in the world and 355^th in Christians for Most Eco-Friendly Governments, scoring -7.75 on the Dolphin Recycling Awareness Index.