The Magistracy of Qwertian is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by Septimius with an even hand, and remarkable for its ubiquitous missile silos, strictly enforced bedtime, and national health service. The compassionate, devout population of 3.336 billion Qwertianians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The large government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Education, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Gliese City. The average income tax rate is 96.9%.

The frighteningly efficient Qwertianian economy, worth 597 trillion Turtles a year, is quite specialized and led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Book Publishing, and Arms Manufacturing. Average income is an impressive 179,106 Turtles, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Parents dread their examinations more than their children, calls to prayer are the newest dog whistles, court cases mostly involve lawyers shouting questions at witnesses giving silent shrugs, and thousands of former pirates can be found peddling knockoff products in flea markets. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Qwertian's national animal is the Turtle, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is No official religion.

Qwertian is ranked 119,693^rd in the world and 143^rd in Christians for Largest Pizza Delivery Sector, scoring 1,500.29 on the Pepperoni Propulsion Productivity Index.