The Holy Empire of Zeltoria is a massive, orderly nation, remarkable for its frequent executions, zero percent divorce rate, and pith helmet sales. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, devout population of 1.609 billion Zeltorians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The relatively small, moralistic, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, although Law & Order, Industry, and Education are also considered important, while Welfare and International Aid receive no funds. The average income tax rate is 10.1%.

The thriving Zeltorian economy, worth 135 trillion Ekmakts a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Book Publishing industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Cheese Exports, and Beef-Based Agriculture. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 83,942 Ekmakts, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.3 times as much as the poorest.

Judicial robes are the country's hottest fashion trend, autopsies often involve only cursory examination, umbrellas are back in fashion, and pregnant hitchhikers with signs requesting rides to "competent care" are a common sight on Zeltorian roads. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force. Zeltoria's national animal is the Peacock, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Zeltoria is ranked 80,356^th in the world and 170^th in Christians for Highest Poor Incomes, with 38,189.22 Standard Monetary Units.