The Patronizing Parentage of Holstar is a huge, genial nation, ruled by HolFather with an iron fist, and notable for its state-planned economy, sprawling nuclear power plants, and absence of drug laws. The compassionate, cynical population of 766 million Holstarians are proud of their wide-ranging civil freedoms, and those who aren't tend to be dragged off the streets by men in dark suits and hustled into cars with tinted windows.

The large government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Daddy's Office. The average income tax rate is 59.7%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The Holstarian economy, worth 38.3 trillion Burrets a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is quite specialized, is led by the Book Publishing industry, with significant contributions from Cheese Exports, Pizza Delivery, and Tourism. Average income is 50,048 Burrets, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The government single-handedly sustains the bunk bed market, anti-government political posters adorn every building like wallpaper, small patches of desolate land across the world are part of Holstarian sovereign territory, and HolFather has been known to threaten dissenting citizens with a machine gun at press conferences. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Holstar's national animal is the Pebble, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Holstar is ranked 260,391^st in the world and 3,410^th in the South Pacific for Highest Unexpected Death Rate, scoring 24.76 on the Bus Surprisal Index.