The United Aisladan Republics of Sarkos is a colossal, orderly nation, ruled by President Christopher Millei with an iron fist, and notable for its closed borders, pith helmet sales, and keen interest in outer space. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical population of 4.446 billion Sarkosans are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Education, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Cácieres. The average income tax rate is 57.5%.

The frighteningly efficient Sarkosan economy, worth 500 trillion Rials a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Door-to-door Insurance Sales, and Retail. Average income is an impressive 112,522 Rials, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.6 times as much as the poorest.

Public loudspeakers constantly tell citizens they are "happy people", the regional delicacy of chocolate bombes is deadlier than an unexploded bomb, the world outside is only known of in folklore, and shivering secretaries type letters under torrential downpours in open-roof offices. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Sarkos's national animal is the Ram, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Agnosticism.

Sarkos is ranked 58,303^rd in the world and 597^th in The East Pacific for Highest Drug Use, scoring 262.88 on the Pineapple Fondness Rating.