The Kingdom of Barnstorf is a massive, cultured nation, ruled by King Jason Alexander III with an even hand, and renowned for its infamous sell-swords, ubiquitous missile silos, and ritual sacrifices. The quiet, industrious population of 1.061 billion Barnstorfians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The large government juggles the competing demands of Education, Defense, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Vicratria. The average income tax rate is 66.3%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The thriving Barnstorfian economy, worth 83.4 trillion Barnstorfian Marks a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Woodchip Exports, and Basket Weaving. Black market activity is notable. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 78,601 Barnstorfian Marks, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Moderate Violetism has been named as Barnstorf's national religion, employers are finding it hard to screen candidates now that everyone gets A grades in their exams, arbitrary election rules are considered sacrosanct, and students are known to arrive at school in their pyjamas. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Barnstorf's national animal is the Griffon, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Moderate Violetism.

Barnstorf is ranked 172,599^th in the world and 867^th in Europe for Largest Gambling Industry, scoring 112 on the Kelly Criterion Productivity Index.