The Saklahani Oysterepublik of Oesterlund is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by Oystergod with a fair hand, and notable for its parental licensing program, ubiquitous missile silos, and punitive income tax rates. The compassionate, democratic population of 1.906 billion Oesters are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The large, socially-minded, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Education, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Kronekerstadt. The average income tax rate is 70.8%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Oester economy, worth 190 trillion thalmarks a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is fairly diversified, is dominated by the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Retail, and Beef-Based Agriculture. Average income is 99,842 thalmarks, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Convicts released after being found "wrongfully imprisoned" are surprisingly chill about the whole thing, colonial subjects have Oester culture shoved down their throats, veterans are directed into environmental cleanup operations, and emojis are the soul of wit. Crime is totally unknown. Oesterlund's national animal is the stallion, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Vopiscanism.

Oesterlund is ranked 15,069^th in the world and 52^nd in Aesica for Nicest Citizens, with 25.46 average smiles per day.