The United Sovereignties of Pizzaifica is a massive, cultured nation, ruled by Picola pizzaia with a fair hand, and notable for its museums and concert halls, irreverence towards religion, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, democratic population of 1.915 billion Doughboys are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The large government prioritizes Administration, although Education, Defense, and Welfare are also considered important, while Spirituality is ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Teigenburg. The average income tax rate is 52.4%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The Pizzanian economy, worth 104 trillion Aesmarks a year, is led by the Beef-Based Agriculture industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Pizza Delivery, and Arms Manufacturing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 54,353 Aesmarks, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

All alcohol is banned, bags of fertiliser come with detailed instructions for not making explosives, cigarettes are dead-cheap, and convicts released after being found "wrongfully imprisoned" are surprisingly chill about the whole thing. Crime is totally unknown. Pizzaifica's national animal is the Ginger my dog, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Love.

Pizzaifica is ranked 243,205^th in the world and 239^th in Aesica for Most Advanced Law Enforcement, scoring 976.39 on the Orwell Orderliness Index.